TEXTIES ARE 65178

the McPub…thats freaking hilarious!!

They need to change the warning to if ur erection lasts myre than 4hr u need a new girl

Is jamie having a STROKE??????

Speaking bout public restrm. My 3 yr son asked if i had a ding dong… Omg what an embarrassment.

Why do couples say we’re pregnant, it sounds so stupid. It either I’m pregnant or my wife/girlfriend is pregnant. What retard came up with that phrase anyway?

Kayden bros before hoes, riley

listen to SEAN! Andy doesnt even have kids yet!

Andy is gay today.

Jamie what is up with the show today. It is all about u. The guys are soo far up your ass. Stop coughing on the air nasty.

Can I get this girls #, I luv stupid women

Jamie sounds like Snooki this morning.

I finally get guts to call into your show. And I STUTTER. On a bus. I stutter. Ahhhh this is why only adults should call in. ~)eSS

TEXT JAIME AT 65178

Its the female orgasn that’s the myth, jay and silent bob.

Your show is therapy you crack me up I just love you.

Therapy changed my life…my now ex-​husband slept with our marriage counselor

All woman are bi-​polar… look how a woman can go from what extreme(attitude) to another…….. jamie…. lol

“Get busy living or get busy dying”

So she said rectum damn near killed em, Black sheep

Therapy, I learned that I wasted a TON of money!

I think I’m going to have to go to therapy after listening to your show

Jamie u r a funny chic

Jamie, next time add a shot of Bacardi lime rum in your michelob ultra!

Seans a douche bag. And he wonders why his kid is awkward in relationships and nerdy. Chill out man.

my boyfriend is a nerd&cute. Was validvictorian. Lost his virginity to me at 26 he was raised the same way, to respect… He is the best guy i’ve ever met…

TEXT YOUR SORROW AT 65178

My boyfriend said he attempted to send me flowers and it’s ftd’s fault that I didn’t get them. Then takes me to dinner at Mongolian BBQ. Comes home to paass out on the couch watching family guy. went to bed by 9:30. REALLY??

I work at a grocery store and yesterdays customers were 90 percent guys buying last minute cards and chocolates! Really?

My wife and I put the kids to bed, took a shower together got into bed naked -​ then she just crashed…I ended up laying in bed and watching Shutter Island with my snoring wife next to me…

I think Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan should hook up. They’d be together 24/7. At home and in rehab….

Lmao Jaime ur the best. “live you stupid bitch!”

Why r all these dumb chicks crying over valentines day? It’s not their bday or Xmas. Pathetic. Lol

In 29 years I never got a valentine. Not even really at school either. I know I’m a major loser, lol.

Gaga for sure but hey Andy I alwAys thought Michael and latoya were the same person.

Jamie, do u realize tht u snort.

VD TESTS AT 65178

My partner doesn’t “do” not only valentines day, but all other holidays. At xmas I do all the shopping for her family.

I’m a fun size fan!Adam ( the Rsvl Garbage Man)

Crime scene sex for Fun Size this Valentines Day!

I wish it was andy’s mic that wasn’t working.

i like th shows tht goes haywire like 2day!!!

Jamie, if you havnt noticed, MOST women who give up on themselves and their men (shoes, body, sexy clothes) are now single. Wouldn’t you say?

Jamie have u informed him that his sex life will be non existing specially with twins poor guy

I am very disapointed!!! As a single girl I was looking forward to your show being the only place that love would NOT be shoved down my throat today!

I knew she was the one when after a month of dating I found out she was a swinger also

Roses are red violets are blue, so give me a chance to get in your pants!

Maybe fun size is super fun size below the belt!!

Happy valentines day jamie. Your hott

LET’S GO TEXTING AT 65178

Omg,Andy! You can work it out! Get the paper towel ready before you wash, then turn off faucet with towel!

Fun size is just freaking out cause he could fit in the drain

Hahaha.. atta a boy! i had an ex that claimed she liked putting A-​1 on her ’steak’ before consuming.. but never proved it…. hooker!

Yeasty, fishy analogies aren’t very good for this situation, Jamie!-​ Scott in Roseville

I had sex in the middle of a crowded yard at sac county jail visitors center some people realized what we were doing and cheered for us

I know about lot lizzaards , do u need a number?

Grandma and aunt in sofa bed sleeping my boyfriend and I in sleeping bags underneath and they never woke up….

I saw my sister sitting on some big guys lap. In church….wait, worse things happen at churches, carry on with the other texts and stuff.

That “flood” 5 or 6 years ago is called a tsunami. That bitch is drama. Listen to her know it all voice! Eriks law I’m shooting Eve first

WINDY TEXTS AT 65178

Assburgers fitshow i picture shawn as the chef from the food network mario batali with orange crocks but now added assburgers

What the eff is wrong with Sean? He loves Bieber and collects VW Bug models?!

My cousin was cuter than me and my mom fell all over her and ignored me

I grew up with 3 older sisters and barbies.. i had my GIjoes kick kens ass and take barbie.

(I saw my now ex riding in a car with whom used to be a good friend. I made a u turn, followed them, when they stopped at a light i was behind them, i got out of my car, ran to her driver side and snatched her by the hair through the window haha, he just sat there haha! That was the end of that.

My boyfriend’s exwife threw a cleaver at him when she caught him looking at porn and accused him of having an affair with all of the girls he was looking at

You need the servise of blowing ur nose.

TEXT WHAT FIRST COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT INTEREN SEAN AT 65178

Rejected reality show contestant

The justin bieber bobblehead on my dashboard!

When I think Intern Sean, I think I’m listening to Justin Bieber’s future.

I think of that loud, obnoxious, Muffler-​less vehicle and his wife picture-​texting jamie repeatedly

Herpes

When I think of Intern Shawn, I think of the renditions of Green Day’s “Good Riddance” he does close to 10 AM, which is called, “TaDah.” This is Mike Barnbaum.

Beeker from the Muppets

Jessica simpsons twin brother…and needs to be banana slapped asap.

A starving musician with a POS car.

Zero to 60 in 3mins! Thats what i think of when i think of intern sean! -​~Ms. Adriane~

When I think of intern shawn.. I think of jamies biotch.. sorry intern shawn

His messed up teeth!

Crocs and cankles

Valtrex

Santa with croc’s on!

smoked to much dope

big and cuddly man bear

Crockman 0goes holywood with his new teeth!!

Douche…..but a cool douche

Cheap labor

King of Quens guy.

TONSIL TEXTS AT 65178

Justin Bieber: the nicorette of lesbianism

Khloe is my ex’s fav too. I’m curvy too so that’s how he likes his girls

Eww only $50 hookers. Nasty. Oh how I love them whores n for the avg guy to pay less than $150 for 30min is super scary. Just sayin. Lol

People are so diirty. Im never having sex again.

My husband got me a talking farting bear with an australian accent. Hw thought i would like it because my family is from australia.

l saw an older interview where charlie sheen “l dont pay women for sex. l can get women to have sex with me no problem. l pay them to leave after we’re done”.

I just asked a fat person passing me on the street if they had their tonsils out and they said yes

I have my tonsils and im fat…. Wats my excuse? :-​)

I always find it interesting when people say they cant follow your show or u refer to it as add radio……i must have add too because i always follow right along! Ha!

I once went to a holiday party and realized halfway through it that my shoes were not a matching pair. One black, one brown.

Lol. In San Francisco there was a homeless guy holding up a sign that said “Need money for shotgun shells… Zombies took my family”

TEXT A GROUNDHOG AT 65178

Think ill get a snuggy for my husky cause i doubt his fur is thick enough lol

Jamie u can’t really laugh at the animal accessories, didn’t u sell cat hats?

I feel amazingly gay for knowing this but it’s “Rock Your Body”

Jamie i built a custom truck with my son when he was 16 he got in trouble in scl i sold the truck he was pissed hes 20 now and says dad that was smartest thing you ever did.

My daughter threw a fit one time at walmart when she was four. My husband threw himself on the ground and kicked and screamed like she was doing and shegot so embarrassed she got up, stopped and never did it again

Our friends make their kids do squats and pushups for discipline. Its funny when we call and the little girl picks up the phone crying saying, “im doingpushups and squats.”. She’ll probably never want to workout in her adult life !

Tom has a ground hog puppet

Isn’t the mom cave in her pants?

TEXT CHARLIE SHEEN AT 65178

Hello charlie sheen here i need that room ur giving away!

My husband works a 9/80 schedule. He totally takes our 2 year old son to daycare on his Fridays off so he can go Hunting. What the hell!

My friend that cuts my hair husband hasn’t given her sex in over 8 years

Make my toes curl for that girl on the screen.

U guys r making it sound like 50 lbs is no big deal. She gained 50 lbs…! That’s prolly y he’s never home

Come on jamie? No dude would go four years without havin sex with his wife. I can’t even go aweek without wanting to have sex with my wife.

5′4″ 275lbs? That’s why he isn’t having sex, plain and simple. Gaining 50lbs is A LOT! If she wants to keep lying to herself maybe he is gay now

Charlie Sheen has pickled his body, he will live forever.

I think ne will break the life coach and turn him into a coke head

Andy’s making up stuff Its a sex demon

My MIL told me shs hates me so much that as soon as my kids are old enough to remind her of me she is moving out of California.

Do you drink this early? Its cool and all, butt take it down a notch J, you sound drunk!! I mean its not even 7 am!